Tony Battie for 2009 NBA Finals MVP

Where art thou, Demetrius Antonio Battie?

Tony! Toni! Tone!

Did you never really make it out of Texas Tech? Did you forget you got drafted fifth overall in 1997? In your defense, Tone, I'm sure a lot of players would like to think they didn't get drafted in 1997—perhaps one of the worst draft classes ever (Magic teammate and fellow bench buddy Adonal Foyle was drafted eighth overall that year).

But TONY, forget the fact you've never managed to average over 10 points or 10 rebounds in a season. Forget the fact you have never lived up to expectations. Forget the fact that you have played less than sparingly in this year's NBA playoffs.

Your team needs you NOW TONY!

With the NBA Finals less than a couple hours away, I hope Tony Battie realizes that ...

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