Manny Ramirez: What He Did On His Spring Vacation

“Manny is like a family member at this point, he really is. I can't imagine life without him. He's like having a dog—you have him for 10 years, he does strange things, you always end up forgiving him, he always comes through when you least expect it, and then when it's over, you remember him fondly.”—ESPN.com Page 2 Columnist Bill Simmons on Manny Ramirez

“Being suspended is like getting a paid vacation. Why do they think it's a punishment? It's like your dog pees on the carpet and you give him a treat.”—Tammy Metzler, from the movie Election

Haven't these 50 games felt like FOREVERRRRRRR, you guys?!