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Continuing a tradition begun last year, Major League Baseball celebrated Mother’s Day by teaming up with the Komen Foundation for its “Going to Bat Against Cancer" Initiative, according to an article on MLB.com.

“When we said we were 'going to bat against cancer,' we wanted to step up to the plate and hit a home run,” said Komen spokeswoman, Laurie Jupiter, “or at least work the count and take a walk. What kind of cold-hearted scoundrel does it take to throw a perfect game?”

“What kind of message does that send?”

The press release emphasized the imagery of the Tampa Bay Rays’ special pink bats flailing helplessly against Braden’s unhittable offerings, and their “pinkified” uniforms walking dejectedly back to the dugout after each and every at-bat.

“He should be ashamed of himself,” Jupiter said, “We will not strike out against cancer.”

Commissioner of Baseball Bud Selig was quick to respond to the controversy.

“Braden’s actions were indefensible,” he said, “His malevolence is nauseating, and he ought to be ashamed of himself.”

Selig added that he would begin to plan disciplinary action against Braden Monday morning. When asked to speculate about the severity of the punishment or whether it would come in the form a fine or a suspension, Selig was noncommittal, saying only, “there’s gonna be trouble.”

“What is [Braden] trying to prove?” Jupiter asked, “What a despicable human being.”

Braden declined to comment.

In other news, a Cleveland, Ohio, teenager who took Braden out of his fantasy baseball team’s starting lineup for this week’s scoring period suffered a massive heart attack upon hearing about Braden’s accomplishment.

Read more Oakland Athletics news on BleacherReport.com

That changed on April 15, 1947, when Jackie Robinson suited up for the Brooklyn Dodgers at Ebbets Field.

Today—the 63rd anniversary of this historic event—it is our duty, both as baseball fans and as Americans, to appreciate Robinson as not just a courageous man and a skilled ballplayer, but as the hero who forged a path for racial integration in all aspects of American society.

An African-American boards a segregated bus in the heart of the segregated South and takes a seat in the “whites-only” section. “Hey, you,” the driver yells, “Get to the back of the bus.” The passenger refuses and is arrested a few minutes later.

At first glance, it is a familiar story, one that my generation learned as an epitomic tale of justice and courage in elementary school. But this event took place in 1944, not 1955; in Fort Hood, Texas, not Montgomery, Alabama; and on an Army bus, not public transportation.

The courageous passenger who refused to cede his seat was not Rosa Parks, but Second Lieutenant Jack Roosevelt Robinson.

Three years before his storied Major League debut, Robinson’s actions established a precedent of passive resistance in the face of racism—both for himself and the civil rights leaders who would follow him.

It requires little effort to show that Robinson was a fantastic baseball player. A quick glance at his Hall of Fame plaque reveals that he had a career average of .311, attended six All-Star Games, and was named NL MVP in 1949.

But when Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey chose him to break Major League Baseball’s color barrier in 1945, it was not just because of his skill; Robinson had played only one season in the Negro Leagues, and his résumé was not nearly as impressive as those of Satchel Paige and Josh Gibson. Rickey was looking for something else—something much more important than a slick glove or a smooth swing.

According to Mohandas Gandhi’s doctrine of satyagraha, a man could truly be righteous only if he was both courageous and nonviolent; neither a refusal to take up arms out of cowardice nor a retaliation filled with bravado would ease the hatred in the oppressors’ hearts. This was the philosophy Rickey knew he had to instill in whoever he recruited.

Proving that African-Americans were good enough to compete with white players would not be a problem—anyone who followed the Negro Leagues knew that they had talent. What he needed most was someone who would refuse to show anger and avoid violence at all costs; someone who would deprive bigots of the symbolic enemy they craved. Rickey famously told Robinson, “I’m looking for a ballplayer with guts enough not to fight back.”

Robinson fit the mold perfectly. When he reached the Major Leagues in 1947, he braved verbal harassment, opposing teams’ overly aggressive play, and even death threats with unflinching stoicism. Fully committed to his philosophy of intrepid pacifism, Robinson even refused to argue with umpires as a rookie.

With his inoffensive demeanor and undeniable dexterity, those who had opposed Robinson’s breaking the color barrier out of paternalistic fear or skepticism were proven wrong. Thanks to his example, several other black players—including Larry Doby and Hank Thompson—had also reached the Big Show by season’s end.

Looking at some contemporary baseball stars, it is clear that not just anyone could have played Robinson’s role. He would have made a terrible impression had he been cursed with Manny Ramirez’ uncontrollable ego or apathetic approach to the game. Robinson would have (in their minds) proved the bigots right had he displayed Kenny Rogers’ short temper or Milton Bradley’s inability to tolerate criticism.

And you can count out anyone who has ever used steroids, androgens, or human growth hormones—what would have happened if the first black player since 1888 had been caught cheating?

But Robinson’s legacy goes far beyond his contributions to the game of baseball; he was among the first well-known figures in the American Civil Rights movement to use passive resistance to combat racism.

Think of the most successful integration movements of the 1950’s: the Little Rock Nine, the SNCC’s sit-ins, the Montgomery bus boycott. While integrating professional sports might not have been as important as desegregating schools, restaurants, and public transportation, Robinson’s actions must have provided at least a subconscious inspiration for the students, and Rosa Parks was undoubtedly following his example when she refused to give up her own seat 11 years later.

In retrospect, Robinson’s success through pacifism could be seen as foreshadowing for the later stages of the Civil Rights movement. Martin Luther King, Jr. was far from the only charismatic figure to display intelligence and passion in the fight for equality; in fact, his doctrine was quite moderate compared to those of his contemporaries, Malcolm X and Huey P. Newton. Yet he is widely remembered as the most successful leader of the Civil Rights movement because of his commitment to nonviolence and his professed love even for those who hated him.

Dr. King developed his philosophy from the scholarly works of Gandhi and Thoreau, yet his overarching goal was the same as the one Branch Rickey imbued in his young protégée: to have “guts enough to not fight back.”

Read more Los Angeles Dodgers news on BleacherReport.com

This news comes in the wake of Hoyer—the Red Sox’ Assistant GM before being hired by the Padres six weeks ago—selecting Boston’s Scouting Director, Jason McLeod, as his own Assistant GM.

“When I bought the team a year ago, I said I wanted to take it in a new direction,” owner Jeff Moorad said, “After a few months of thinking about it, I realized that my ‘new direction’ was exactly what the Red Sox had been doing all along.”

Hoyer’s announcement of the purchase of the Green Monster evoked mixed reactions from the crowd; a few screamed “What?” while the rest simply looked dumbfounded.

When asked what effect he thought adding a 37-foot left field fence would have on the stadium that had the fewest home runs in baseball in 2009, Hoyer replied “yes,” while Moorad answered “please shut up” when questioned about the possible aesthetic problems posed by placing an 8880-square foot green wall in the middle of a ballpark whose design and color scheme is meant to be reminiscent of the beaches of San Diego.

Seeing that there were no more questions, Hoyer then announced that the Red Sox had granted David Ortiz, Dustin Pedroia, and Jonathan Papelbon their releases so that they could go to San Diego like Hoyer and McLeod.

“[Boston] was great while it lasted,” Ortiz said, “but that chapter of my life is over now.”

“No one here thinks I can’t hit that high-inside fastball,” Pedroia said.

Hoyer also revealed that the Padres had acquired Frank Feola’s “Fenway Franks” hot dog stand for PETCO Park. “Oh man, wait until you try those hot dogs,” he said, “They’re the best.”

Finally, Hoyer revealed that the Padres had entered trade talks for known Red Sox targets Roy Halladay, Felix Hernandez, and Adrian Gonzalez. When reminded that the Padres already had Gonzalez, Hoyer put on a vague Eastern-European accent and replied, “Great success!”

Fans across the country reacted strongly to the announcements. “This is terrific,” said Red Sox fan, Anthony Emerson , “I’m tired of being a Boston fan. Thanks to San Diego for opening my mind!” On the other side of the spectrum, anti-Padres paraphernalia has popped up all over New York.

In other baseball news, Hank Steinbrenner is attempting to bribe Toronto Blue Jays GM Alex Anthopoulos into simply giving the Yankees Halladay after realizing that his team doesn’t have any decent prospects to trade.

(In case it was not apparent, this article is a joke and all quotes are fictitious.)

Read more San Diego Padres news on BleacherReport.com

The Oakland Athletics had gone 457-353 under Billy Beane’s leadership when Moneyball was published after the 2002 season. They continued their success for the next four years, going 368-280, but have gone just 226-260 since 2007.

Players Beane maligned in the book—Carlos Peña and Prince Fielder, for example—have emerged as superstars . Meanwhile, the most successful of the prospects he lauded are Nick Swisher and Mark Teahen.

That Rajai Davis was allowed to steal 41 bases this year is proof that this is not the same team Michael Lewis wrote about.

Maybe talking about undervalued skills loud enough for other teams to hear made it harder to find affordable talent. Maybe revealing his strategies to the world was a bad idea. Or maybe the team has had a few years of miserable luck.

However, one division of Beane Enterprises continues to enjoy unprecedented success: the Closer Factory.

In case you hadn’t heard, A’s closer Andrew Bailey was just named the 2009 American League Rookie of the Year. Bailey put up a 1.86 ERA, a 3.79 K/BB ratio, and an astounding 0.88 WHIP in 83.1 innings en route to earning 26 saves in 30 opportunities.

At the end of last season, Bailey was a nobody who no one thought would make much of a splash in 2009. The closing role wasn’t open anyway; a healthy Huston Street was supposed to compete to reclaim his job from Brad Ziegler, who took over as a rookie in 2008.

Street’s story should sound familiar; in 2005, he was unexpectedly thrust into the closer’s role, put up 23 saves and a 1.72 ERA, and was named Rookie of the Year. A’s fans with good memories might also notice similarities to Keith Foulke, Billy Koch, Jason Isringhausen, and Billy Taylor.

What’s the point of all this? Why does it matter that the Athletics have been so successful with their closers?

It matters because the A’s approach the idea of closing very differently than other teams do.

Like wins , saves, Beane decided, were absurd ways to measure performance. “The situation typically described by the save,” Lewis wrote, “was clearly far less critical than a lot of other situations pitchers faced.”

He’s right. The man who comes in to pitch in the ninth inning with nobody on and a three-run lead doesn’t need as much talent to do his job as does the guy who takes the mound with the bases loaded in the seventh with the score tied.

Saves, Beane discovered, are not only meaningless, but comically overvalued. “You could take a slightly above average pitcher and drop him into the closer’s role, let him accumulate a gaudy number of saves, and then sell him off,” Lewis said. Having had multiple previous successes, Beane “assumed he could do so over and over again.”

Seven years later, the plan has continued to go off without a hitch. The worst that happens is Beane can’t find a good trade, so the A’s let their closers leave via free agency and get draft picks in return, as happened with Jason Isringhausen.

The best case scenario is that they trick a desperate team into giving up one of the best players in the game, as happened when the Athletics dealt Street to the Rockies just over a year ago.

This isn’t shrewd management; this is a Ponzi scheme. The difference is that, while Bernie Madoff forced false information upon his clients, Beane’s trading partners actually seem to enjoy using inaccurate metrics.

To be fair, Bailey and Street are more than just “above average” pitchers. Saves may be overrated, but Bailey’s other numbers demonstrate great skill, and while Street’s rookie year turned out to be a fluke (a 1.72 ERA usually requires more than 2.77 K/BB), he’s still been quite effective (3.28 ERA over the last four seasons).

On the other hand, it’s worth noting that Oakland closers haven’t held up very well after they were traded. Taylor and Koch imploded on impact when they joined the Mets and White Sox, respectively. Foulke had one good season with the Red Sox before his career started spiraling down.

Of the players mentioned in this article, only Isringhausen has had more than one season with an ERA under four after leaving Oakland.

A’s fans, don’t get too used to having Bailey pick up saves. If his future truly is closing, it will be elsewhere. With another season or two at the same level of dominance he displayed this year, he could foreseeably join the Athletics’ rotation (after putting Jeremy Giambi in right field, converting a closer to a starter isn’t much of a stretch).

But if Bailey’s peripherals worsen and the team loses faith in him, Beane won’t hesitate to see how much teams will offer for his inflated stock on the trade market. He’ll be sent packing, and the A’s will find another poor sap to develop into the next trade bait.

Just ask Huston Street.

Read more Oakland Athletics news on BleacherReport.com

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